I’ve gone and done it. I put butter in my coffee and I like it. Well, you don’t just put butter in your coffee when making the bulletproof sensation but, that’s not what this post is about anyway. I’m not going to give you the recipe, you can look that up online anywhere because there are tons of people who now consider themselves pros.
I do like it better, though. It takes the edge off and makes my coffee creamy smooth. Not a bad morning greeting if you ask me but, you didn’t … so, why am I bulletproof?
I am bulletproof because I believe that I finally learned to not rush into every bullet that enters my life. I think that I used to crash through my days like a bull in a china shop. I felt that I had to handle everything and everyone that came my way. Kinda like a mother or a bouncer, depending on the situation. I was the fixer. In my family, I was the baby and took on the role of soother in sensitive situations. I solved problems, calmed people down or made things better in whatever way that I could. As an adult, I became a lawyer and all along kept doing the same things that I did in childhood … fixing.
Lately, I realized that my approach and style has changed because of age. I just don’t have the energy to exercise that kind of strength. It doesn’t always work either. Even when people want or ask for help, some are just never happy. Also, I found that in some situations, people don’t like being ‘handled’ especially when they are putting all of their efforts into creating a free for all.
I am now in the ‘it’s none of my business’ stage of life and, ‘not your protector, go take care of yourself’ years. It almost makes me wish that I aged earlier …yes, that’s a joke – I was always aging earlier but wasn’t bright enough to realize that I was wasting my energy on things outside of my control and losing interesting moments that I could be writing about now. You know, people being people and doing the dumb stuff they do. But there I go again with judgments. That stuff wasn’t dumb, it was life. And, it was pretty interesting.
Honestly, my reactions at the time were just life too and at times pretty interesting as well. So, was I just being me and that was ok too? So, what if everyone just did nothing and let everyone do whatever they wanted to in any situation? I know, I know, there are laws but, I’m talking about simple social or family situations. If some people are always offensive and never pull their manners out of their pockets and then others never express their distaste for that behavior, is that a better world? Or if others are critical in situations that call for decorum and calm (like a bouncer or an undertaker at a funeral) and it stopped people from dancing inappropriately at events, is that so bad?
Now I wasn’t really trying to make a point here, it just came out naturally while I was writing and opened my eyes a little bit … maybe my inner editor was trying to teach my human self that: ‘whatever you were and whatever you become is never wrong. It’s just you and it’s all ok. Don’t beat yourself up about the past and how you treated people or how they treated you. Just accept yourself for everything and continue being you, now, in whatever aged form you are in. And try pacing yourself. Slow down, don’t rush into anything, act naturally though and try being bulletproof.’
From now on I think that I’m going to try to look at any troubling situation and think about how I would write about it. That should slow my reaction time.
… and to think that this all started while pouring my coffee this morning.